Ramblings Of A Mad Mage

" @AlchemicalRaker puts it best when he suggests that players deserve less. If they’re two things that are true, it’s: Thanks to a generational porn/smut addiction and Critical Roles influence on the hobby. Today’s player base is filled with a ton of perverts who seek out opportunities to bring romance and sexual innuendo into the game. Players are like children. They become great when challenged and punished accordingly by their DM. So in an effort to correct this issue in the funniest way possible. I present the magical STD Table, along with a sub table for determining the probability of your players contracting one of these hilarious, unplaytested, potentially game breaking STDs. AND! As an added bonus, I’ve thrown in a new playable “race” for " @TheBasicExpert’s 0DnD clone, " @WightBox . Action The PC or NPC Takes Likelihood The PC/NPC hooks up with a promiscuous PC/NPC. 35% The PC/NPC hooks...

Returning to the ring against ' " @RumpDM ', I dug deeper than Conan and choose ' " Fritz Leiber’s, Lean Times In Lankhmar ' —as my weapon for this round. This short story—follows Fafhrd & the Grey Mouser through Lankhmar’s The Street Of The God, after the iconic duo split over financial pressures. Seeking a new life of solace, Fafhrd (a northern Barbarian) becomes acolyte to Bwadres, the last priest of Issek of the Jug. Meanwhile Mouser, (the more cunning of the duo) finds himself a lieutenant to Pulg, the street’s the chief Extortioner. Personally, I was intrigued by the hidden braunstein playing out in the background, rather than the story itself. At first I was going to discuss the various factions at play. But that wouldn’t make for a very compelling entry for the “Kang Of The Ring Tournament”. No we DESERVE something grander, something bolder! So How about a small Braunstein Inspired by the text instead. The Braunstein *Note: You MUST read ...

Inspired by ' " BROZER ',' Rdubs ', and the backflipping, headlocking, Dad-bod-building BROsr guys, I decided to throw myself into the BROxt ring with the legendary Conan tale, "The Scarlet Citadel '. For those of you who are too full of shame to admit you’ve never read this work of Hyborian history, The Scarlet Citadel follows the exploits of Conan the Barbarian King of Aquilonia after he is defeated in battle and imprisoned by the dreaded wizard Tsotha-lanti . After escaping the jaws of a serpent of shadow, slicing his way through a eunuch guard, evading a siren-voiced frog-octopus, and abiding in the escape of Tsotha’s rival Pelias . Conan rides a magically summoned giant eagle-bat home and throws a betrayer from his throne. He gathers his armies and rides against a siege on the border of his country. If there is one thing anyone can take away from reading Conan , it’s that it fills you with the desire to grab some dice and throw yourself into...